Just like every other crazy goal, you will definitely break your New Year’s resolution this year. You’re going to overreach and your short-term goal of dieting for a month will shrink to 2 weeks. And then disappear altogether.

  Here are the 5 most common reasons your failure is inevitable:

• You expect a quick fix.

  You decided to lose 10 pounds this year. It’s now February, and you’ve lost less than a pound. Your fists are curled up, and you’re seething in anger. You start to binge eat Cheetos and chug liters of Mountain Dew. Good going! Now, you’ve actually made negative progress and gained a few too many.

• Your goal is too obscure.

  You decided that you were going to “live life to the fullest.” So far, you’ve gone skiing down Mount Everest with your dog, you’ve “liberated” lunch money from half of your “friends,” and you’ve gone skydiving. But you still don’t know if you’ll ever accomplish your goal. Make sure to have a concrete fulfillable goal.

• You weren’t made to do this.

  Biologically speaking, you body wasn’t made to grow 10-inch biceps and get washboard abs. Your culture prevents you from eating pork, so your resolution to eat an entire pig was probably pretty stupid. In terms of diet, a recent study found that microbacteria in your stomach prevents your new diet from immediately altering your body shape.

• You think you need to actively live your resolution.

  Instead of not following your diet enough, you only eat salads when you go out to five-star restaurants. You are too strict with following through on your resolution. Slow down and just focus on the journey and not the destination. That leads to the next point.

• You focus too much on the destination and not the journey.

  Instead of coming out of the barn sprinting, you need to calm your horses down and set a bunch of small goals. If you don’t, you risk tripping over yourself. Just take one step at a time, and you might even be able to enjoy your progress.

But even if you follow these tips, your chances barely hover above 0 percent. Basically, there’s no chance that what you write on a piece of paper will be fulfilled in the next 365 days.