The Trinity Voice

Babyak easily squats 405 pounds for 120 reps during a typical 5 am workout in preparation for Olympia

SATIRE: Buff Babyak Begins Bodybuilding

David Steinberg, Sports Writer April 29, 2022

   After retiring last year, Coach Rick Babyak found himself with a lot of free time on his hands. Instead of taking it easy, he shifted his focus to a new sport that required much practice and conditioning:...

SATIRE: Euphoria Preparatory School: Teachers Become Fully Euphoric

SATIRE: Euphoria Preparatory School: Teachers Become Fully Euphoric

   Since the start of the second semester, many faculty members have taken up a new interest in elaborate makeup and flashy clothing. At first, no one knew the exact cause for this sudden burst of weird...

SATIRE: Chaos in the Car Line

SATIRE: Chaos in the Car Line

Denise Bologna Turkey, Satirical Staffer April 27, 2022

   72 hours. That’s how long it took students and faculty to turn right into Trinity Prep Lane this week. The line of cars, trucks, bicycles and scooters extended for several miles in both directions...

SATIRE: Swim team dives into waters of cult world

SATIRE: Swim team dives into waters of cult world

Alch #2, Staff Writer April 27, 2022

   Information about a secret cult in the swim team has recently been brought to light. We’ve all heard the timeless jokes about the swim team being a cult, but the testimonies and evidence that have...

SATIRE: Wordler Strikes TPS

SATIRE: Wordler Strikes TPS

Victoria Berube, Staff Writer April 25, 2022

   The first thing everyone sees before they pull into Trinity Prep is the sign welcoming them in the morning. But, on the morning of April 1, students and staff were met with a horrific sight. The answer...

Physical Education Coach Scott Sukup spotted showing off large calves to students as they walk to class.

SATIRE: Sukup Exposed For Fake Calves

David Hull, Sports Writer April 25, 2022

   As seventh grade students walk into their physical education class, they can’t focus on their assignments, distracted by the massive calves of their coach, Scott Sukup. Sukup holds no resentment...

Boys varsity weightlifting head coach Isiah Cabal shows off his physique and his Cabal Cycle protein shake.

SATIRE: Weightlifting Team Adopts New Training Method

Boaz Kim, Sports Department Editor April 25, 2022

   After being so close to the coveted district title for the last couple of years, boys varsity weightlifting coach Isiah Cabal has decided to take a more modern day approach to training his lifters....

JJ Swizzel and Remix Rhoads pose for a photo before a concert.

SATIRE: Teacher by Day, Rappers by Night

Karaoke Karol, Staff Writer April 25, 2022

   It was recently announced that English teachers, Jay Jay Stroup and Dean Rhoads, will not be returning to teach next year. However, as many Compound Count fans now know, the reason for leaving is...

SATIRE: Aulls Mark on Hallmark

SATIRE: Aull’s Mark on Hallmark

Taylor Riley, Staff Writer April 25, 2022

   Everybody knows Kelly Aull as the Upper School Dean, but few know of her hidden talent: acting. But all of that changed when she was cast in the Hallmark channel’s upcoming movie, “Aull of My...

SATIRE: What it Means to Be a Saint: Online Edition

SATIRE: What it Means to Be a Saint: Online Edition

Just Another Huangster April 12, 2021

   Have you ever gained a streak of being late to a class? Overwhelmed by an excessive amount of free time? Disconnected to the rest of the world? Well, worry no more. This article contains the core...

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