The student news site of Trinity Preparatory School

The Trinity Voice

The student news site of Trinity Preparatory School

The Trinity Voice

The student news site of Trinity Preparatory School

The Trinity Voice

[SATIRE] Top 10 Excuses For Not Doing Your Homework

[SATIRE] Top 10 Excuses For Not Doing Your Homework

Zach Kleiman, News Editor May 5, 2023

   Are you tired of staying up late and stressing about unfinished homework? Fear not, fellow procrastinators! This ultimate list of excuses for not doing your homework will make your teacher think twice...

[SATIRE] Partly Cloudy Goes Through Storm

[SATIRE] Partly Cloudy Goes Through Storm

David Hull, Sports Editor May 1, 2023

   We all know about the faculty bocce ball league, but only few know about what goes on behind the scenes. Standing undefeated and crushing their opponents, Partly Cloudy has dominated the faculty bocce...

McGimsey in his o ce sitting on mountains of gum while smiling from the sadness
of his gum deprived-students

[SATIRE] A Sticky Scandal

Jack w/out the brows, Staff Writer May 1, 2023

Gum. Tasty, chewy, calming perfection. Gum symbolizes a sense of freedom; a freedom of flavor. This freedom was stripped away from Trinity students late last year when Dean of Upper School Kyle McGimsey...

[SATIRE] Garnett Rocks On

[SATIRE] Garnett Rocks On

Demanda Rose, Staff Writer May 1, 2023

Students sitting in Honors 9 English crowded around the desk, trying to catch a glimpse at the phone. With the volume at its max, the room filled with beautiful music that couldn’t be ignored by passers...

Amanda and Milsten get into a parking fiasco in Chapel Hill over limited spots.

[SATIRE] Parking Under Pressure

Loosey Goosey, Staff Writer May 1, 2023

   3 am. That is now the appropriate time to arrive for Trinity drivers hoping to snag a parking spot on campus. Due to construction in the main parking lot, the only viable source of parking for students...

Schneider orders sophomores Wilder Judelson and Kevin Wang  to run their laps faster.

SATIRE: Schneider Scandal Takes Students by Surprise

Joe May 1, 2023

   Earlier this month, math teacher Eric Schneider was caught as the ringleader behind an illegal lap running ring involving students racing around Stuart. What started out as an innocent way to discipline...

[Satire] Budget Cuts Leave Hurdle Races To Be Run With No Hurdles

[Satire] Budget Cuts Leave Hurdle Races To Be Run With No Hurdles

Sammy Lou, Staff Writer May 1, 2023

     Trinity Prep is in a budget crisis. Administrators were shocked to find that the budget for the 2023-2024 school year is down to zero. As a result, Trinity has decided to cut funding for classrooms...

Students dance around the rock after experiencing the power of the new mission statement.

[SATIRE] New Mission Statement Creates World Peace

Taylor Riley, Lifestyles Editor May 1, 2023

It was an ordinary assembly at Trinity Prep. Students were fast asleep in their chairs–teachers, also fast asleep but slightly more subtly. No one was anticipating that assembly to change their lives...

(SATIRE) Cabal Isnt Cabald - Shocking Truth Revealed!

(SATIRE) Cabal Isn’t Cabald – Shocking Truth Revealed!

May 1, 2023

   Last Thursday, renowned AP World teacher Isiah Cabal’s secret was revealed to the public. Sophomore Daniel Chacko was walking by Cabal's classroom after practice when he turned to see what he was...

SATIRE: Love is in the Air!

The love guru May 1, 2023

Hey lovers- As we all know by now, high school relationships are notoriously composed of meaningful lasting connections that you will remember for the rest of your life. But they’re also really hard...

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