This year, the music world was blessed with everything from heart-breaking lyrics by Adele to equally touching words by DJ Khaled. And yet, there are always those people who misunderstand artists’ messages and are convinced that lyrics about “that girl” are truly concerning “that squirrel.” This is our ode to those people. After all, what even is English?
1. “Fight Song” by Rachel Patten
Heard Lyrics: “This is my fight song. Take back my lysol.”
Actual Lyrics: “This is my fight song. Take back my life song.”
Yes, Ms. Patten, I too would fight to the death to retrieve my cleaning supplies. I’m just saying, those floors need to be spotless.
- “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate
Heard Lyrics: “I remove umbilicals!”
Actual Lyrics: “I believe in miracles!”
The miracle of birth is something to sing about. This is a recommended song for carolers this Christmas. Bring your Hot Chocolate.
- “Locked Away” by R City (feat. Adam Levine)
Heard Lyrics: “If I showed you my floors.”
Actual Lyrics: “If I showed you my flaws.”
“Hey Bob! Meet my floor. I cleaned it with lysol.” Thanks, Adam Levine. Always the polite gentleman.
- “We Built This City” by Jefferson Starship
Heard Lyrics: “We built this city on sausage rolls.”
Actual Lyrics: “We built this city on rock ‘n roll.”
Sausage rolls are replacing brick and cement, and we couldn’t be happier. Pigs in a blanket taste better than bricks. Believe me: I’ve tried both.
- “Gettin’ Jiggy With It” by Will Smith
Heard Lyrics: “Kick a chicken with it.”
Actual Lyrics: “Gettin’ jiggy with it.”
I didn’t know the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air had such a dark side to him… Someone call PETA, and I ain’t talking about the bread.
- “Beast of Burden” by The Rolling Stones
Heard Lyrics: “I’ll never leave your pizza burnin’.”
Actual Lyrics: “I’ll never be your beast of burden.”
What a relief for Italian chefs everywhere! Look, Mick Jagger cares for the state of your dough!
- “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen
Heard Lyrics: “Saving his life from this warm sausage tea.”
Actual Lyrics: “Spare him his life from this monstrosity.”
Freddie Mercury saves Queen Elizabeth from her tea. It seems that people have been sneaking meats into it.
- “Dancing Queen” by ABBA
Heard Lyrics: “Feel the beat from the tangerine.”
Actual Lyrics: “Feel the beat of the tambourine.”
There’s nothing I love more than citrus fruit jammin’ out on drums. That beat can turn anyone into a dancing queen.
- “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel
Heard Lyrics: “We didn’t start the fire. ‘It was always burning,’ said the worst attorney.’”
Actual Lyrics: “We didn’t start the fire. It was always burning since the world’s been turning.”
Come on, Rob! Worst lawyer ever. “The fire was always burning” is not a valid defense for an arson trial.
- “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk
Heard Lyrics: “We all like Mexican monkeys.”
Actual Lyrics: “We’re up all night to get lucky.”
Hanging out with some mariachi band monkeys is the definition of getting lucky.
