One might describe twins as two peas in a pod; it’s just a part of growing up. Siblings are raised together and become their own people, but twins have it harder when it comes to being individuals. They experience constant comparison and competition that most other siblings don’t face.
Eighth grade identical twin sisters Madeleine and Sarah Gross have experienced this first hand among their friends and at camp.
“Some people don’t treat us as individuals,” Madeleine said. “When we were in a book club [our friends] were like, ‘You guys can share a book.’”
Not only did the girls’ friends group them together, but their sleepaway camp took away some earned privileges.
“When we were at camp, you would get 15 minutes to call your parents, and they were making us share time because we were twins,” Madeleine said.
Twins are together from the beginning, in the womb—one as Baby A and the other Baby B. They haven’t even been born yet, but they are already ranked.
Jake and Connor Raffa, also identical twins, both excel in academics.
“We push each other, both academically and athletically…it’s good though because we help each other improve, but it can also create conflict,” Jake said.
Though they motivate each other to do their best, they don’t like competition from others.
“I try to not compare myself to Connor, but it’s hard,” Raffa said. “After big tests, people [ask] what did you get? Well what did Connor get?”
The Raffas are each very intelligent in their own ways, but the comparisons extend even beyond their peers.
“I went to study period to ask a teacher for advice on how to study better, and he said do what your brother’s doing,” Jake said.
Social science teacher William Milsten admits that he too has compared twins subconsciously.
“You try never to do that, but it slips out sometimes,” Milsten said. “That’s true of siblings too not just twins. It’s true of siblings when you have them in different grades.”
“Once they can establish who they are as a person, you stop doing that so much,” Milsten said.
Sophomore Alexis Roberts agrees that her teachers compare her to twin brother Alex Roberts.
“I feel like they do compare us, especially on our work,” Roberts said.
Alexis plays on the varsity volleyball team, while Alex spends most of his time in the pool preparing for upcoming swim meets. They like to keep their sports separate to avoid rivalries and unnecessary comparisons.
“He’s a boy, and I’m a girl, so there’s less comparison…Most of the time, [teachers] don’t even know my brother and I are twins,” Roberts said.
However, she can’t avoid the comparisons completely.
“My parents do compare us,” Roberts said. “They don’t do it too often unless one of us [messes] up majorly.”
It’s easy to get caught up in trying to be the best, but it’s amplified by having a built-in competitor. It’s often more difficult for twins to be their individual selves, but they find ways to distance themselves from each other through sports and academics.
