A Giver’s guide to holiday chocolates

Alexis Huang, Staff Writer

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   What’s the most stressful, impactful and possibly life-changing moment you will experience in your life? The answer is clearly buying the right type of chocolate as a gift for valentine’s day! Standing in the aisle for minutes panicking over the “right choice” feels like a life-or-death situation. With Valentine’s day right around the corner, symptoms may include butterflies in your stomach and clammy hands. But do not fear, because with this handy chocolate guide, you’ll never make the wrong decision again!

Cadbury: for the people who may or may not like chocolate

  There’s always that one friend who’s a bit unsure about chocolate. You’re not too sure if he or she likes it or not, and you obviously don’t want to ask them, giving away your gift idea. If this description sounds familiar, Cadbury’s a safe option. It’s a standard milk chocolate that’s creamy, but not overwhelmingly rich. It’s also a pretty cheap option, so you don’t have to worry about him or her throwing away fancy, expensive chocolate.

Chocolate covered strawberries: for the … no, never mind

   Let’s be real, no one actually buys these because they’re expensive and a lot of work.

  I’m going to be real here and say that I can’t give my honest opinion on these because I don’t have the time or capital to buy a box for myself, but I’m sure they’re delicious and probably taste expensive. If you’re dying to try some of these, Pinterest offers an array of DIY alternatives for the average broke high schooler.

Dove: for the yoga-loving, acai bowls on the daily, on-the-go moms

  We all know these chocolates always end up on the sales rack after Valentine’s Day, since nobody actually goes out of their way to get basic dark chocolate.

  Have you ever seen a mom in her Lululemon attire and flip-flops power walking at Publix to the chocolate aisle? Well, next time you see one, you’ll know she’s probably on her way to grab a bag or two of Dove chocolates. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not bad. They just taste healthy, especially the dark chocolate. In fact, eating this chocolate is a bit of a workout in and of itself because the milk chocolate isn’t as creamy as others, so don’t expect it to melt in your mouth.

Lindt Lindor: for the teacher’s pet

  In every class, there’s that one person who slaves away to become the teacher’s favorite. They’re the ones who stay after class to clean the whiteboard, remind the teacher to collect the homework and ask for smaller curves on tests. Usually, around the holiday season, this special person will most likely slide a gift to the teacher to ensure their place as “the pet” and let everyone know they’re all that. If you have any desire to continue to help fund the kisser-uppers’ gift stockpile, this is the candy you should be buying.

Ferrero Rocher: for the mom friend who carries around everything from Target in her tote bag

  We all have that one lovable and responsible mom friend. Whether you’re in need of flats after homecoming, a bottle of water on a hot day, perfume to freshen up after gym class or even an on-the-go salad to snack on, this prepared friend can provide all of it just by opening her magical tote bag. This type of chocolate is perfect for the mom friend, because who knows when someone in the friend group will be in dire need of chocolate? But this isn’t just any basic chocolate. It includes hazelnut, which gives it a satisfying crunch and makes it an ideal snack for their bag.

Hershey’s Kisses: for the people you kind of know but not really, but you still need them to balance your follower/following ratio of Instagram and for homework help

  This chocolate is a popular choice because it can be bought in bulk, and let’s be real: Most of us don’t have time to go out and get personalized boxes of chocolates for everyone. While the name of this candy is cute and sweet, the actual size of each kiss is upsetting. This is the type of candy that requires you to eat at least 20 to be satisfied, which probably explains why you’ll be finding tiny balls of aluminum foil at the bottom of your lunch bag or backpack a month later.

Godiva: for the people who have upcoming birthdays and you only remember it’s their special day because of the Facebook reminder

 People who can remember others’ birthdays without a reminder or note have a special, God-given talent. For the rest of us, Facebook or a text reminder is the way we remember, and unfortunately, that reminder usually comes too late to actually go out and get a meaningful gift. Luckily for the birthday forgetters, Godiva chocolate is the perfect option. The chocolate comes in a large enough quantity to last a few days, and the truffles are so rich that it’s pretty difficult to finish the box in one sitting. The brand name and packaging are fancy enough to cover up the fact that you forgot and make it seem like you put in a lot of thought and effort into the gift — when you actually just made a morning run to Publix or CVS.

Russell Stover: for the very single people out there who need a treat to satisfy their sweet tooth and loneliness during their Netflix marathon

 This is probably an unpopular opinion, but the packaging of the Valentine’s Day edition chocolate is really tacky. Nobody wants a boring, red heart that basically resembles your grandma’s couch pillow. Anyways, you’re probably thinking, “It can’t get any worse,” but unfortunately it does. The chocolate itself is even more disappointing. It tastes like an assortment of all the mistakes you’ve made in high school. If you’re a quantity over quality kind of gal, not willing to spend big bucks and need a large amount of chocolates to drown your loneliness in during your Netflix marathons, then this chocolate is probably for you.

 

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