He who controls spice controls the universe.
Spice, of course being the grain-like substance that allows for intergalactic space travel.
Citizens of the Trinity Prep Empire were left shocked after his royal majesty Emperor Lawson’s recent announcement that the spice deposit of Arockis will be the purview of noble house Burmeister, as opposed to the historical precedent of it being granted to noble house Boerth. Arockis, of course being the large rock in the middle of campus that contains large amounts of spice underneath each of its many layers of spray paint. When asked to elaborate on his decision to change the assignment of Arockis, his royal majesty Emperor Lawson had no comment. Some theorize that Lady Massey-Burmeister, known member of the Fleur de Gesserit, influenced his royal majesty Emperor Lawson to make this decision. These reports remain unconfirmed.
When asked on how he feels about the decision, Baron Robbie of House Boerth had this to say:
“I shall reclaim Arockis for House Boerth, My Arockis, My Dune.”
After several uncomfortable minutes of repeating the phrase “My Arockis, My Dune,” Baron Robbie of House Boerth went on to say:
“The Black Sun of Holloway Prime shall burn the heretics of House Burmeister, none shall have the strength to stand under the wrath of House Boerth.”
While on Holloway Prime, the homeworld of House Boerth, we were able to identify that military operations were being prepared for a potential invasion of Arockis. Baron Robbie of House Boerth’s nephews have also been seen preparing for battle.
We reached out to one of the nephews, Saynt-Rautha, for comment, unfortunately we have not heard from our reporter who went to interview him since, weird.
Noble House Burmeister should be advised to prepare their defenses upon Arockis.
Noble House Burmeister has made their landing upon Arockis, but have been having some interesting interactions with the local people, the Saintmen. Duke Brandon Burmeister and his son, Teddy, have been both revered and reviled by different sects of the Saintmen. The Saintmen from the southern side of the planet believe that Teddy is the “Trinity Lisan Al-Gaib” or “Trinity Voice from Another World.” Whereas the northern Saintmen do not believe in this prophecy.
Duke Brandon Burmeister was asked to comment on his son’s potential messiah status:
“The Saintmen have their beliefs, I know my son is special. But destinies tell us nothing, it is what you do with your potential that matters.”
Teddy, on the other hand, had a different view on things:
“I see a holy war spreading across the universe like unquenchable fire. A warrior religion that waves the Burmeister banner in my father’s name, can I go play baseball now?”
Claims of a Messiah are not exclusive to the Saintmen however, the Fleur de Gesserit also believe that an eventual “Kwisatz Librarach” will be born. Lady Massey-Burmeister had an interesting perspective on this
“(Using the Voice) Teddy is the savior of Arockis!”
Lady Massey-Burmeister is exactly correct, Arockis belongs to Noble House Burmeister and its people shall be saved by Teddy Burmeister. House Boerth shall fall and all shall bow to the overwhelming supreme power of House Burmeister. I have not been influenced in any way to say this.
