Hello, it’s me. That clever Adele reference isn’t just to profess my undying loyalty to her majesty, but also to just say hi. Here inside this magazine, you are likely to see a lot of words, but they’re all from our side of the paper. This time, I’d like to speak directly to you, the reader, and I’ll do it in the style of a cringey breakup letter because why not. Enjoy!
– – –
I feel like I’ve spent so much time trying to speak to you, but you never listen. I’ve always believed that a relationship is 50/50: a give and take. But no matter how hard I try, it seems like I’m still putting in 100% of the effort.
I get that you’re busy all the time, I know. You’re always working and working, so I leave you alone. But even when you get a break … you still ignore me. When you come my way, I try to look nice. Colorful layout. Catchy headline. Kicker quotes in all the right places. But nothing works.
You must be bored of me. You must think that you’ve seen all of my different angles and that nothing’s new. So I try to change. I switch up my style. I try to talk to you about news, lifestyles, podcasts, but you just flip past me and toss me aside. I feel looked at but not seen. You can hear my words but you don’t read my message.
I know I am very opinionated. But who isn’t? A lot of horrible and important stuff happens and I just want to tell you. What’s so bad about that?
If I can’t fix you. Maybe I just need to fix myself. You don’t like it when I’m serious, so I’ll be funnier. You don’t give me attention when I’m too long, so I’ll be shorter. I hope that’s enough for you to listen to me.
XOXO,
Me
I know I’m asking a lot of you to thoroughly read every single article of every issue we publish, so all I wish for is for you to just try small. Try a single article that gets your attention — whether you first notice the headline, graphic or layout. Try to read just one thing that you might be passionate about. That’s it. But if that’s too much, no worries: Maybe the puzzle page is more your speed.