Car horns are blaring, smoke and shouts fill the air, and parking cones are flying. Sophomore Ben Demetriades swerves in and cuts off sophomore Caroline Ahl as they race for a parking spot amid a parking lot war. As the construction cranes dug into the parking lot where the Nochur Sankar Science Center will be built, the Trinity administration was tasked with quickly finding different places for students and faculty to park. The spots in front of the DAC and RAC have now become a warzone and fill up as early as 5:00 a.m. Thankfully, Trinity administrators have come to our rescue to solve this issue, and that is with their innovative parking solutions. Trinity claims that their parking solution alternative will drastically improve the lives of every driving student. Their plan? Build floating parking platforms on Lake Burkett. The platform will float in the middle of the lake, and cars will be transported via boat. While this solution may seem costly, the administration has found a smart workaround: Trinity students will design and build the carboat and floating platform. This project will be implemented in the curriculum of all upper-school science classes to ensure that it is designed and built in a timely manner. Trinity claims that this project will secure the #1 STEM school in Central Florida spot indefinitely. They also claim that all students and faculty are on board. However, not everyone seems to believe this. “Their ‘solution’ doesn’t make much sense,” biology teacher Emily Massey-Burmeister said. “How are we getting the materials? How am I going to implement this into my biology classes? I’m teaching my students about evolution right now, and my AP kids will fall behind in taking the exam in May. I am not sure this plan was thought through.” Since this parking solution is meant to save money, Trinity claimed that not even a penny will be spent to help the students and faculty with such a tedious and important project. “Students will be forced to think creatively using STEM, and I think this is a perfect way for them to think outside the box and find real-world solutions to real-world problems,” Head of School Byron Lawson said. “Plus, it’s such a great way for students to get Bright Future hours!” However, similar to Massey-Burmeister, concerns have been raised about finishing coursework, the education of Trinity students and even their well-being. Despite this, Lawson does not see an issue with the project. “I have heard concerns about exams and finishing material, even from the State Department,” Lawson said. “However, I told them to relax because Trinity students can handle developing a brand-new floating parking lot, self-studying all their science classes, and getting adequate sleep to function the next day. It’s not that hard, honestly.” Concerns have also been raised about the safety of students constructing a car boat and floating parking platform. Calmly, Lawson reassured everyone that top-of-the-line safety protocols were to be implemented to ensure that the structures were stable and safe to use. “We are going to hire a company that specializes in testing the safety of student-constructed marine parking platforms and car-transport boats,” Lawson said. “Their methods are truly novel: an employee will come to the site periodically and jump on the structures for 5 minutes as hard as they can. This way, we can see if what the students are building can withstand the weight of dozens of cars.” One may ask what the punishment is if this is not completed on time. The administration warned that driving privileges will be revoked for all students indefinitely. “I am aware that the only way some students can get to school is by driving themselves, but this is all the more reason to finish building the platforms and boat on time,” Lawson said with a chuckle. “I think this is such a great motivator for our students.” Despite this, the students were not too thrilled with the idea of building floating parking platforms and a car-transportation boat. Many students expressed their concerns about how this construction will affect their preparedness in taking May exams. “I think this is absolutely ridiculous,” sophomore Nathan James said. “I have to take my AP Biology exam very soon, and if we don’t finish learning the required materials, we are all going to fail!” Similar concerns have echoed throughout Trinity faculty and students, and administration has refused to comment on this. Trinity has its sights set on the floating parking lot and a #1 STEM school spot, even at the expense of its students’ education.