Over the past few years, a questionable fashion trend has arisen, blurring the lines between ugly and chic. This single article of clothing, once shunned from society, is making a comeback. Cashmere or wool, the ugly Christmas sweater is being brought back into circulation.
It is now a common occurrence to see people donning borderline hideous sweaters because they think it’s cool. Here is the great debate: are ugly Christmas sweaters (UCS) ugly?
First, I’d like to say that fashion is a subjective art: what some people may view as an attractive piece of clothing, others would rather see lit on fire and sent through a wood chipper. For basic sweater fashion, you can’t go wrong with a single color sweater, as long as it’s not yellow or seasick green. Branching from the basics, patterned sweaters are usually acceptable and not ugly as long as the pattern is simple and pleasing to the eye.
It’s the next step up where the lines between ugly Christmas sweater and let’s-cuddle-by-the-fire sweater mix. For example, a nice wool sweater with two crocheted reindeer can be totally attractive – as long as the reindeer aren’t stepping out of a Claymation film.
The designs on sweaters are the cornerstone for appeal. In most cases, Christmas-themed sweaters featuring simple ornaments, reindeer, Santa, etc. are cute and in-style during the month of December. If left to fester in the hands of an inexperienced designer, these patterns can result in disaster come January.
When debating whether a sweater is ugly or not, look closely at the design. Does it say The Neighborhood’s “Sweater Weather” or does it scream, “Frosty the Snowman had one too many gingerbread cookies and vomited up Christmas spirit on a turtleneck.”
When choosing a sweater to wear, think back to the Hannah Montana episode in which Miley receives the hideous singing cat sweater from her father. Nothing made that sweater cool, not even if Hannah Montana was wearing it.
Basic design rules: if it acts as an appendage, it’s a definite no. Felt reindeer antlers are a crime against nature, and if the sweater jingles whenever the sleeves are in motion, it might as well be considered coal in a stocking.
There are only two occasions where UCS will be tolerated: an ugly Christmas sweater party or Christmas day. If you’re attending a UCS party, you better be wearing the portable shrine of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. On Christmas, no one is going to care what you’re wearing because everyone will be hugging each other or will be preoccupied with presents.
The fact of the matter is, ugly Christmas sweaters are ugly – no date on the calendar is going to change that. People need to accept that the UCS will always be ugly, regardless of whether or not they bought it from the trendy boutique at the mall or hip thrift shop down the road. The troubling truth is that more and more people are assuming UCS will make them cute and festive. Sweaters need to be respected!
As long as people wear sweaters following the aforementioned guidelines, they will still be celebrating the winter season in a fashionable and respectful way.
Wearing something ugly doesn’t make you fashion-forward, cool, unique, or inventive but rather disrespects the tight-knit (pun intended) sweater community. A UCS will only be tolerated once in a blue moon – other than those circumstances, UCS participants should be shunned from the winter fashion circle.
To quote The Neighbourhood’s “Sweater Weather”: “Use the sleeves of my sweater, let’s have an adventure.” Adventure you will not if your sleeves are a crocheted interpretation of “The Christmas Song.”
