Enlightenment philosopher John Locke is known throughout the halls of history classes for his advocacy of inalienable rights — life, liberty and property. For Floridian students, our self-entitled birthright is hurricane days off from school. Similar to the good old 13 colonies starting a revolution in pursuit of their rights, we Trinity students must recognize that our beloved days off have been stolen from us (Dun Dun Duuun!).

   If every single school in a 400-mile radius gets the day off during a hurricane, we Trinity students should not be forced to be “fully dressed” and sit in any other position than the classic Zoom technique: lay in bed with the camera off.

   But this virtual vindication doesn’t just end with hurricanes. No, No, No. This fairly unanimous sentiment is targeted at all virtual days. If hybrid learning is incorporated into our curriculum for the purpose of being prepared in the event of an unforeseen disaster, it seems pretty redundant to do so when we have already gone virtual for a hurricane. The only thing “hybrid” about it is the combined anger and sadness I feel when the teacher’s screen freezes for the 15th time in the same class.

   For those of us out there who don’t have enough friends to do a virtual school hangout at Billy’s house, we have to suffer alone in the boredom that comes with online lectures and teachers struggling to use basic technology. Unfortunately, even the holy triad of Tetris, Tik Tok and Brawl Stars isn’t enough to make online learning enjoyable.

   Virtual days are just as unnecessary as the rainy season walk-of-shame: going from the end of Holloway, through Stuart, past the auditorium and then to the library because the Trinity lightning gods dictate that a perfectly clear sky equals a tropical storm.

   Thus, let me put forth my two cents on the matter. Since having a hurricane cancel school at least once a year is just as much of a given as not having clubs on C-days, let’s just take one for the team and have virtual days during these lovely storms instead of additionally spinning the magical wheel that tells us to go virtual during some random day in October. This way, we don’t have to worry about suffering more than we already do from godforsaken hybrid learning.

   COMMENTAARON is the revival of Andrew Kwa’s satirical commentary, KWAMMENTARY, which ran from 2017 to 2018.