Who’s Really Pulling the Strings?

KAnon uncovers nefarious truth of Trinity Deep Administration

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Teogotkicks

Is a nefarious cabal of administration elites secretly running Trinity behind closed doors? K, an anonymous (and definitely reliable) blogger says yes!

Twin #1 and Chicken Zehnders

   For far too long, we have all been living in a lie, and it’s hard to fathom we’ve made it this far without seeing the obvious signs. Where does all our money go? Surely it isn’t towards the campus or school dances. If anything, the school seems to be pressed for money, as they are continuing Grandparents’ Day fundraising even though there is no actual event taking place. Meanwhile, administrators have been seen driving around in BMWs. Coincidence? I think not.

   Though some of this money may be used to fuel the luxurious lifestyles of the Trinity Prep higher-ups, an anonymous blogger known as K, who claims to be an economics teacher at the school, has recently revealed that this cash flow has primarily been used to fund the dark and evil practices of certain faculty members and administrators, and to shut up anyone on the verge of uncovering their secrets. 

   Following correspondence between K and the Voice staff, a grand conspiracy has emerged. The Trinity Deep Administration, not our majestic Head of School Byron Lawson, truly holds the reins of power on campus.

   It’s obvious when you think about it, why else is Mr. Lawson only visible between the hours of 11:45-12:15, on alternating Tuesdays. They are limiting his public appearances, drowning his overwhelming public support with bureaucratic tasks and Saint Stops.

   Behind the scenes, the Deep Administration is suspected to be harvesting the stress of students for some nefarious, unknown purpose. K was able to obtain classified photos of vials and syringes filled with liquid labeled “Secret. Do Not Touch.” Again, the purpose has yet to be revealed, but clearly, something dangerous is brewing.

   Furthermore, what about the school’s insistence upon everyone wearing masks despite the overwhelming evidence that COVID-19 is a hoax? Even if it were real, the particles are far too small for the masks to be effective. K claims that initiation practices into the Deep Administration have recently changed, after the recent security leaks. All members are now required to get grills. The masks are nothing more than a convenient cover-up. 

   This makes even more sense in the context of the 7th-grade “quarantine” earlier this year, and the even more recent 11th and 12th-grade “quarantine.” Some KAnon followers believe stress harvesting was taking place en masse, a bold step for the cabal who feels emboldened.

   Fortunately, K says they have located the group’s headquarters. The mysterious cricket noises coming from the library are a dead giveaway. Despite claims that it is intended to be relaxing ambient noise, it is far too loud for this to be the case, and in all likelihood, dampens sounds the cabal doesn’t want anyone to hear.

   “At this point, our utmost importance is to keep Byron Lawson in office,” K said. “In the near future, he plans to bring this cult down, despite possible coup attempts, Russian interference and threats on his life. No one knows how deep this goes. He is the only one we can trust.”