SATIRE: Out with the Old, In with the New: Supreme Court Decides the Bell Dismisses You


SCOTUS’s 5-4 decision led to immediate backlash with hundreds of teacher protests erupting across the nation.

Shady Amy

  After years of debate, the Supreme Court voted in a 5-4 vote that bells would officially mark the end of class. Seconds after the decision, teachers around the country protested against the new law. Trinity has had lasting controversies pertaining to the bell. In 2016, a student filed a kidnap lawsuit against the school after a teacher kept a student 15 seconds after the bell rang. Although Trinity refuses to comment on the matter, many teachers and students have agreed to partake in exclusive interviews highlighting their experiences and insight on the future. For this to happen, Trinity set up confessionals in which students and teachers would be able to voice their opinions. 

  Before the law was passed, many students went to extreme lengths to ensure that they would make it to class on time. Sophomore Abby Hernan bought a ZUCA rolling backpack and began track after having one of the fastest class arrival times. 

  Other students decided to protest by walking out of class right after the bell rang and many teachers decided to fight back. 

  “Once my last period teacher held us so late after class that my mom filed a missing persons report,” sophomore Hernan said. 

  For many students, less than five minutes to get from class to class was merely not enough time. The few minutes now awarded back, many students have taken advantage of this time to do other things on their way to class. 

  “I was able to watch all 17 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy, get my license at the DMV and get to class on time,” Sophomore Laila Mahler said. 

  Although many students had a positive outlook on the new dismissal method, many teachers voiced opposition and went to the lengths of protest. They even formed mini confessionals in the teacher lounge.

  The teachers’ union, National Association for Holding Students After the Bell Has Rung (NAHSABR), founded by First Lady Dr. Jill Biden, as part of her new very important education initiative, held their first rally in front of the burrito station in the grille and made sure to keep their students minutes after the bell. Many teachers joined the movement by tattooing “The Bell Doesn’t Dismiss You I Do” on their foreheads. However, Trinity doesn’t allow visible tattoos and many teachers decided to change it to the Alma Mater which was deemed acceptable.

  With students still in uproar, they took to the Trinity Prep Instagram comments to voice their anger. 

  “For too long Trinity teachers have kept students after the bell has and we are tired of it,” @astudentforbells92384 commented. 

  Trinity later turned off comments, posted an inspirational quote, and to make up for the outcry by many students, they held a Saint Stop.