SATIRE: Aull’s Mark on Hallmark

Kelly Aull set to star in Hallmark’s latest romance

Taylor Riley, Staff Writer

   Everybody knows Kelly Aull as the Upper School Dean, but few know of her hidden talent: acting. But all of that changed when she was cast in the Hallmark channel’s upcoming movie, “Aull of My Heart,” which is set to release in December 2022. Aull plays a character named Keeley Aull, who was coincidentally named similarly to Aull. Aull thinks that this may have helped her land the part. 

   “I am very excited to be a part of this movie,” Aull said. “I think it’s really original and shares an amazing story that isn’t derivative or predictable at all.” 

   Aull’s character Keeley is a successful workaholic lawyer in New York with no time for things like love or Christmas. But when her job sends her back to her hometown Mistletoe Ridge a week before December 25, she finds that there’s more to life than just promotions. 

   Aull’s leading costar, Bradley Cooper, plays humble stableboy, Mark Hall, who’s known Keeley since they were in diapers. On the night of their high school graduation, they shared a kiss, before falling out of touch when she left for a New York pre-law program the next morning. Upon Keeley’s return to Mistletoe Ridge, the two reconnect, Mark even letting her stay over at his one bed, zero bath home when her flight back to the city was snowed in and delayed several days. 

   “The flight being delayed is such a shocking twist,” Aull said. “And the fact that Mark and Keeley have to live together for a couple days provides lots of cute interactions and moments. It’s such a powerful love story. They overcome insurmountable odds to be together. It’s truly inspiring.”

   Due to this upcoming role, Aull will be leaving her job at Trinity to pursue an acting career in romantic comedies. 

   “To be honest, I never really liked my job here anyways,” Aull said. “I’m tired of people leaving all of their stuff in lost and found. I deserve better than that.” 

   Many students and staff members have begun congratulating Aull on the role, remarking that they will miss her but they wish her luck on her future acting career. 

   “I’m very happy for Ms. Aull,” science teacher Carrie Lopez said. “If I had the talent, I would leave Trinity Prep tomorrow to star in Hallmark’s crappy remakes of the same movie over and over again. Don’t tell her I said that though, she’s very excited. Wait, this isn’t going on record, is it?” 

   Another student remarked that Hallmark and Trinity aren’t actually that different from one another. 

   “Honestly, going to Trinity is like being in a Hallmark movie,” sophomore Ainsley Tischler said. “The sleep schedules of our overworked students are kind of like those of workaholic business women. I also don’t have time for love or Christmas. I just wish I had a Mark.” 

   History teacher William Milsten remarked that he’s jealous of Aull’s upcoming onscreen romance with Cooper, wishing he was cast as Keeley Aull instead.  

   “He’s a very attractive guy, and I think it would be fun to fall in love with him,” Milsten said. “As a joke, of course. All just acting. I’m not actually in love with Bradley Cooper. Definitely not, nope.” 

   After making that statement, Milsten nervously laughed for about a minute straight before abruptly ending the interview and sprinting across the quad. 

   Production of “Aull of My Heart” began this past week, and Aull said that the scenes they’ve shot so far have made her even more excited for the world to see the film. She talks about Keeley’s relationship with her best friend Jessica, who appears once in the beginning of the movie to encourage Keeley to get back on the dating market before never being mentioned or heard from again. She also speaks about some of the innovative new tropes and plot devices this movie has created.

   “The scenes of Keeley and Mark visiting the Christmas lights festival and getting into flour fights while baking Christmas cookies for a fundraiser for the orphanage are really original and fun,” Aull said. “I truly believe this movie is one of a kind, and I’m very grateful to be a part of it.” 

   Although it hasn’t been officially confirmed by Hallmark, Aull told the Trinity Voice that the movie is set to release on December 2. She told us that her life would forever be changed by then.

   “See you at the premiere losers,” Aull said, before leaving Trinity for the very last time.