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The Trinity Voice

The student news site of Trinity Preparatory School

The Trinity Voice

The student news site of Trinity Preparatory School

The Trinity Voice

SATIRE: Euphoria Preparatory School: Teachers Become Fully Euphoric

Photo by Photo Editor #1

   Since the start of the second semester, many faculty members have taken up a new interest in elaborate makeup and flashy clothing. At first, no one knew the exact cause for this sudden burst of weird behavior from teachers. However, after more and more cases of strange behavior were reported, the pieces started falling into place.

   Suddenly, on the morning of Jan. 10, coincidentally the day after the Euphoria season two premiere, Physics teacher Michael Arney arrived at his first period class with glitter remnants on his cheek.

   “When we asked why he was wearing glitter, he just started singing All for us by Labrinth,” said junior Mason Dowdy.

   The following week a similar thing happened, except this time, Worcester was wearing a full face of makeup with sharp eyeliner and rhinestones on his eyelid.

   “Ummm I’m like, channeling Maddy.” was his only response.

   However, this problem is not limited to makeup. Many faculty members have been seen wearing 8-inch strappy stilettos and long black gloves.

   Upper School dean Kelly Aull has taken a particular interest in intricate nail art that has been featured on the show. Aull also frequently wears a slicked-back high ponytail with jewels in the hair most school days. 

   Although Aull is constantly enforcing the dress code for students, she has broken many rules with her daily attire. Aull has been approached by Dr. Bonday multiple times this week about her dress length and no-collar tops.

   “This is my personality now,” said Aull. “So what if I wear flashy outfits? I’m just embracing my true euphoric self.”

   This opinion from Aull made it clear that season two of Euphoria has taken the faculty by storm. This unhealthy obsession with the HBO original has fully transformed many teachers’ personalities and appearances.

   Like Worcester and Aull, the show severely influenced English teacher Jay Jay Stroup. Stroup has stopped bringing textbooks or lesson plans to school and exclusively carries a miniature clutch purse around campus.

   “I just carry lipgloss in my purse, that’s really all I need.” Stroup said.

   “Sometimes the latest episode is all Ms. Stroup will talk about during class, said sophomore Katie Kohm.

   Kohm said that Stroup created a new unit about analyzing the writing and story structure of the show. 

   “This week, we had a socratic seminar about episode six,” Kohm said. “I hadn’t watched the episode, so I had to read a summary before class to make sure I knew what I was talking about.”

   Hopefully, this Euphoria craze among the teachers dies down soon. However, HBO recently announced Euphoria season three. We will see what inspiration the faculty take from the next season soon!

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