Edwards Camerahands

   The blackbirds of Trinity Prep have been increasing ever since the founding of the school; however,  the mass of crows and grackles this year has raised many eyebrows. The normal nuisance of annoying birds has taken a turn for worse to something very concerning. 

   “They are everywhere, on tables, in bushes, in trees, in lawn chairs, and in the corner of everybody’s eyes,” Forensics teacher Benjamin Gaddis said, who had made it a personal mission to save the school from crow domination.  “I can not seem to get rid of them; something is going on.” 

   Their unusual behaviors have left many people pondering the crows’ true intentions. Many students and teachers feel the eeriness of the campus with the presence of blackbirds. 

   “I feel watched constantly,” freshman Charlotte Lightman said. “There is always something lurking in the shadows, and when I turn around, I notice the malicious glint in the bird’s beady eye and it gives me shivers down my spine.” 

   Recently the birds have taken a more aggressive approach to take over the campus. Under the extensive observations and research of Gaddis, he has concluded that they are ready to continue onto stage 2 of their plan to total control: stealing food and worst of all, marking their territory. 

   “I get pooped on at least twice a day, I can not even eat outside anymore,” Lightman said while being interviewed on a table glittered with bird feces. “whenever I look up, there is a bird above me. I cower in fear every time hoping that a white splotch does not land on me or my food, but at this point the white splotches had become a splash of color for my clothing.” 

   While some worry about the blackbirds ruining their food, others worry more about if they even have food for lunch due to the birds’ habit of stealing food from innocent students. 

   “I broke my leg trying to save my school lunch from the crows,” 7th grader Alex Butz said. “I had not had lunch for the past week as this one crow kept on snatching my food. This time I fought instead of fleeing and I finally was able to protect my pasta and meatballs at the expense of the broccoli… and my leg.”

   However, the students found some success with avoiding these birds. Some tactics include the duck and run, drop and roll, and the all time favorite look and hide. 

   “I am constantly on the lookout for the blackbirds and if I see them, I run as fast as I can to a tree or bench and try to blend in and be one with nature,” Lightman said. “I am so trained at this point I would be ready for any sports involving running. Now that I think about it, maybe that’s why Trinity is so good at soccer, we have extra practice sprinting away from enemies.” 

   While some students are willing to combat the crows, others have taken refuge in the classroom under the disguise of clubs or extracurricular activities. 

   “I only attend student council meetings solely to avoid confrontation of the birds as I value my limbs and food greatly,” Freshman Misha Choudry said. 

   Many teachers like Gaddis firmly believe that these odd occurrences are more than wildlife living on campus. In attempts to solve the mystery, Gaddis has dedicated his time to create a suspect board to uncover the ring leader behind the intricate plan of crow domination. 

   “Through my research, I discovered that there several ring leaders throughout the years,” Gaddis said. “I have headshots of every blackbird on campus here and a short bio of their attack patterns from my daily bird spying time with my special binoculars.” 

   According to Gaddis’s information, the pigeon seemed to be the only known leader this year. He overthrew the past leader and started doing quick work on the defenseless students and faculty. Everyday he taunted the students avoiding capture while also pushing the blackbirds for more attacks and extra shrieking sessions. However after a near capture experience with English teacher and bird aficionado Steve Krueger’s class, the pigeon decided to go into hiding and it is rumored that he is now ruling the ranks from afar. 

   Even with these crazy events, there are still teachers that advocate for the blackbirds. 

   “I refuse to believe that they are hateful animals of vengeance,” Krueger said. “So what if they steal some food or attack kids, I mean they need to eat too and who are we to intrude on their business.”

   With all being said, whether students and teachers agree with the conspiracy or not, it is necessary to proceed with caw-tion.