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The Trinity Voice

The student news site of Trinity Preparatory School

The Trinity Voice

The student news site of Trinity Preparatory School

The Trinity Voice

Trinity Voice Power Rankings: Thanksgiving Foods

    Trinity+Voice+Power+Rankings%3A+Thanksgiving+Foods

    #10 Cornbread

    Chris Rock once said, “Cornbread, ain’t nothin wrong with that.” And he was wrong, completely wrong. There is so much wrong with the dish. It’s just so hard to get right that it never gets done correct. It’s always too dense or crumbly or too dry or moist. So, cornbread rightfully sits at the bottom of the list.

     

    #9 Sweet potatoes casserole and marshmallows

    It’s good, I like it. But it’s not really that popular. It has the consistency of baby food, so if you’re into that, then you’ll love it. 

    The marshmallows help it look better, but that’s about it. At least it’s not crumbly or dense or whatever cornbread is, so for now, it sits above. 

     

    #8 Green Bean Casserole

    Not much to say here. It must be somewhat healthy because of the GREEN in green bean. Otherwise it looks pretty boring and smells questionable. 

     

    #7 Turkey

    The backlash may be severe with this one. But honestly, turkey is just not that good. Stop pretending it’s good. It’s dry, colorless, and flavorless. Turkey only exists at the table because it feels wrong to not have it there. 

    Just use chicken, or ham, or Turducken. Or honestly, Tofurkey might even be better. 

     

     #6 Macaroni and Cheese

    This is probably too low for most people. But honestly, it’s just a boring dish. 

    Pasta? Yes. Cheesy? Yes. Tastes good? Somewhat. Overdone and overhyped? Yes, definitely. 

    Tell your grandma to step her game up.

     

    #5 Cranberry Sauce

    Cranberry sauce is delicious, but it’s just a sauce. That’s why it’s not higher on the list. If you’re special, you might sit in a corner and eat it with a spoon. But if you’re normal, you’ll enjoy a delicious Publix cranberry sauce. The sweet flavor compliments every other food Thanksgiving food. So next time you’re loading up your plate, you can have some cranberry sauce, but it is not a necessity.

     

    #4 Bread rolls

    The rolls aren’t just a filler food, and they deserve respect. A warm piece of bread with butter lathered in between goes a long way. 

    It’s also an avoidance tactic. They’re the perfect food to stuff in your mouth when your grandma asks you, for the fifth time, why you didn’t get into Harvard. 

     

    #3 Mashed potatoes 

    Who doesn’t like it? Seriously. 

    The smooth, creamy, buttery, mouth-filling perfection that comes with mashed potatoes is undeniable. It is truly a dish that has stood the test of time. 

    You have to try really hard to mess it up, so if you find yourself at Thanksgiving this year and the mashed potatoes are bad, drop your plate and run. 

    Also, I prefer gravy with mine. I’m sure you do too. 

     

    #2 Stuffing

    Stuffing could easily be in the first spot, but it’s not. So let me explain. Yes, there is a lot to love about it. It’s a staple at Thanksgiving and what makes it special is that it can be made in endless combinations. 

    You can put vegetables, cheese, meat, or even fruit works too; the possibilities are endless. That combined with some flavorful, artisanal bread, all drowned in butter, and baked for an hour, is absolutely scrumptious. 

    In the end though, sweet tops savory, so stuffing will never be #1. 

     

    #1 Pies

    Nothing beats pie. Pumpkin pie is one of life’s greatest pleasures and it is as Thanksgiving as it gets. You’ll eat it every year, and every time you realize how much you love it. 

    Apple pie is life’s other greatest pleasure. The flavor of the tart apple with a nice warm crust, and if you throw some vanilla ice cream on top, oh baby! 

    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with pie and you can’t tell me otherwise. 

     

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    About the Contributor
    Aetant Prakash
    Aetant Prakash, Podcast Editor
    Aetant Prakash is a senior entering his second year on staff where he will serve as Podcast Editor. When he’s not watching Russell Westbrook destroy backboards, he enjoys cooking, running and eating Baos from King Bao. Aetant also embarrasses his friends while getting buckets in pickup basketball at the Heathrow Court. Contact him at [email protected].

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