Relationships are complicated. People spend countless amounts of energy trying to decipher the unwritten secret code that is love. We somehow all keep up with the ever-changing norm, telling us when it’s okay to move from one step to the next and what those steps are. Couples are constantly trying to break away from the status quo with new ways of expressing love and sticking together. There are TV shows and movies dedicated to its complexity, and everyone, whether we admit it or not, enjoys taking part in its game. It’s confusing, annoying, frustrating, and completely inexplicably beautiful.
It is a known fact that around the world there are numerous traditions and ceremonies that take place surrounding love. However, even with the technologically connectivity of the world’s nations today, it isn’t everyday that we hear about animal sacrifice and its role in marriage proposals or relationships riding on high school grades. Yet, these surprising formalities are actually authentic, and although to some they might seem like unnecessary complications, they can help relationships stay interesting and ultimately make them last.
In China, high school students in relationships often plan their futures together so that they don’t have to have long distance relationships or break up later on. “They go to SAT prep class together, study vocabularies, [and] apply for college,” says junior foreign exchange student Leslie Wang. “[It] sounds kind of nerdy but largely increases the chance to see each other, and it’s usually a lot of fun.” What to us may seem like a simple study date is to them the first step to a life-long relationship.
In Peru there is an extra step before a relationship called “afán” which literally translates to “eagerness.” Jessica Salas Medina, a student at Colegio Anglo Americano Prescott, our sister school in Arequipa, Peru says it serves as a test to see if the relationship will work. “Si no funciona simplemente dejan de ‘afanar,’” she said. “If it doesn’t work out, they simply leave it at the ‘eagerness’ stage.” It would be nice to have this tradition in the United States so maybe couples could take time to dip their feet in the water before diving in to potential heartbreak.
Senior Becca Kiriazes had the chance to see a foreign dating tradition unfold in front of her very eyes. Her cousin Brenton Bischof recently proposed to his fiancé Tina who is from the Philippines, where it is a common tradition that when a man proposes to a woman he has to do so in front of the entire family with a big feast with a whole roast pig. “It is important because marriage will bring the couple and the two families together,” said Kiriazes. Since he had to propose in front of the entire family, now it’s a memory they all share.
Now, even though it may seem tedious to plan one’s education over a relationship, find a pig for a proposal, or add an entire step to the already complicated dating system, hard work does pay off. According to a recent UCLA study, two people who “take active steps to maintain the relationship” are more likely to have a long-lasting romance. There are always new things to learn from other cultures, and this trend doesn’t stop short of love. Next time you need a little something to keep your relationship interesting, try taking a trip to another country (or just on the web) and find some new traditions to make your own.
