SATIRE: Gaddis’ 5-Star Getaway Review

Ella Craghill

A sneak peek at some of the amenities in Gaddis’ Getaway. To learn more and book your dream vacation, visit!


  A secret 5-star getaway resort has been found on the campus of Trinity Prep. This is an unparalleled getaway experience that compares to no other of its kind. The getaway is a one-bedroom, two-bean-bag extravagant lounge that includes a luxurious Buddha fountain and an assortment of lights along the walls. The lounge is equipped with a mini fridge and snacks galore with exceptional selection of your choice. 

  There is a free view of the outdoor bridge, and trees and the room also offers an office space with a double monitor setup. The suite includes a coffee machine as well as access to a white board.

  Owner Benjamin Gaddis left some feedback about his lounge.

  “I would describe my office as a zen paradise and a place to gather all of your thoughts and just relax,” Gaddis said. “Everyone needs their own luxury getaway. and I believe my space will do just that for you.”

  Gaddis’ zen and relaxation resort is known to be of extremely high quality. The space also includes free access to Disney+, Hulu, and Gaddis’ personal Nintendo Switch for you to enjoy during your extravagant vacation getaway. 

  The room is allergy-free, and housekeeping will be provided. If you would like extra snacks and drinks provided, it will be an added $10 to your final stay payment. However, guests have recently complained that the refreshments may be left over from Forensics tournaments two years ago. 

  Gaddis mentioned how he believes a good space is the key to relaxation and peacefulness.

  “Relaxation is one of the key things to living a healthy lifestyle and to me it all starts with finding the right place,” Gaddis said. “If you find the right place, then that will just elevate your experience to a higher level, and having high tier relaxation is what goes on around here.” 

  The Gaddis Getaway package offers a public balcony that overlooks the beautiful trees and bridge of Trinity Prep’s campus. Free WiFi is available, but don’t expect it to work at all. The getaway also includes a five course meal prepared by the local restaurant’s head chef, Chris.

  Gaddis plans to soon expand his resort into a two room space which will offer even more amenities. 

  The next-door neighbor of the resort, Dean Rhoads provided his own feedback.

  “I have no complaints,” Rhoads said. “It seems like a very cool and quiet place to relax and hang out in peace.”

  While some neighbors provide positive feedback, one has provided negative as we always like to stay honest with our guests. 

  Fellow neighbor William Milsten has had a few issues with the new lounge getaway.

  “I’ve had to report many noise complaints due to the level of noise coming from that Nintendo Switch. It is insane,” Milsten said. “Those snacks are also not at all to my liking, maybe my opinion would change if the selection was a little better.”

  Prices are extremely cheap for the immersive and mindful experience, as the resort is only $50 per night. This weekend getaway could be all yours for up to a week, but be warned, you could be evicted at any time for a Forensics team practice. Contact resort owner Benjamin Gaddis at for more information.