Dear Lexie,

So I have this buddy, and he’s always been a good friend of mine. But lately something’s different. It’s a bit confusing because he’s got this girlfriend, and I have feelings for her. I see him with her all the time, and I can’t help but feel weird around them. Where can I find a girl like that? Huh? I want to tell her that I love her but that would be silly. Sometimes it seems like I’m always looking in the mirror, wondering what my friend has that I don’t. I mean, I’m pretty funny and cool… Isn’t that the way love’s supposed to be? 

-Rick S.

Dear Rick,

They say that all is fair in love and war, but the reality is that the dirtier the game, the harder it is to clean up the resulting mess.

Let’s face it: unrequited love isn’t fun, and knowing that the girl you like is also your best friend’s girlfriend doesn’t make this fact any easier. But keep this in mind, Rick: losing a close friend because of a mutual interest in someone else is quite lame.

Sometimes in our lives, we have pain and sorrow. We hate it, but sadly it’s inevitable. In times like these, we all need somebody to lean on, and who better to fit that job description than your best friend? Trust me, you don’t want to lose him over something as petty as a love triangle.

There’s nothing wrong with having the feelings that you have. The heart wants what the heart wants, right? There is something wrong, however, with letting these feelings get in the way of your better judgment.

Neither you nor your friend deserves the headache that fighting over a girl will produce, so as much as possible, be conscientious about the things you say or do. Love can bring people together as quickly and as easily as it can tear them apart, and you don’t want harsh words or stupid actions to leave you and your friend in a rough place.

That being said, you also have to be careful about admitting the feelings that you have. It is not the best idea to share these feelings with the girl you like. Even if she’s the reason for the teardrops on your guitar, you don’t want to put her in an awkward place and make your friend (her boyfriend) feel as though your friendship plays second fiddle.

A good way to go is to tell your friend about your feelings. The worst-case scenario may be that your buddy will be angry with you for a little while, but a true pal will never turn his back on you and will always be your friend. He took an oath—and he’s sticking it out to the end.

Overall, don’t make the girl a big deal. When you look in the mirror, don’t think about what’s missing but instead remember what’s there. I can’t say for sure what love’s supposed to be since it’s different for everybody, but I can tell you that when something is meant to happen, things will work out for you.

The right girl will come along eventually. But in the meantime, just hang tight, roll with the punches, and look forward to tomorrow—because then, you’ll be that much closer to finding her.

Music speaks to us in many ways—and some of us more than others. Have a problem brought to light? Email me at [email protected]. I can’t wait to hear from you.